John & Delenn Human Sexuality vs Minbari Formality
by NWHS
Summary: A fun, fluff of a fic in which John tries to convince his very formal wife to wear something that's definitely not part of the Religious Caste sleep wear.
1. Chapter 1: It Seemed Like A Good Idea

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Delenn of Mir and John Sheridan**

**Author: NWHS**

Author's Note:

This very short fic is based on a few lines from Season 5, Episode 17: Movements of Fire and Shadow. John Sheridan wanted to ask his wife, Delenn, to travel to Minbar during the height of the Centauri War and speak with the Grey Council about working with Earth to turn out White Star destroyers. In the beginning of their conversation Delenn thought John was worrying about something of a more personal nature.

Delenn: "Something is bothering you. What is it?"

John: "I need to ask you to do something I don't want to ask you to do."

Delenn: "Well . . . if it's about my wearing those little—''

John: "No."

Delenn: "I appreciate the gift. And I didn't say I wouldn't wear them. I just said that . . . for me, from a Minbari perspective, I thought it looked silly."

And from this brief glimpse into their married, sexual life, the story was born. It's in all fun and good ole fashioned fluff. I'm too lazy to finish it in one sitting, so I'm dividing it into two short chapters. Hope you enjoy.

_**Human Sexuality versus Minbari Formality**_

**Chapter 1: It Seemed Like A Good Idea at the Time**

'You'll be busy all night thanks to this sexy teddy!' the advertisement had assured. John Sheridan thumbed through the Adam and Eve Lingerie magazine Garibaldi had given him during his so-called bachelor party. It was an impromptu event in which Garibaldi invited him to his quarters under the guise of a much needed talk about Alliance security. When the door cycled open, Stephen, Londo, G'Kar, and Zack all stood inside with the biggest grins on their faces.

"Surprise!" they said in unison, glasses raised in salute.

His friends were holding down Babylon5 when he and Delenn had married aboard a White Star after his pardon for his "crimes" against Earth. And Garibaldi, being Garibaldi, couldn't allow a prime party opportunity to pass him by.

"Did we surprise you or what?" Michael asked John, slapping his back. "If I had my way, I'd have a few scantily clad dancers up in here, but I don't want to get you in trouble with the misses, for fear she'll come after me once she's done with you." He laughed at his own joke and slapped John on the back again.

"Well, thanks for not hiring half naked women to dance for me. The last thing I need is for Delenn to hear about it on ISN. As it is, I don't even want to think about trying to explain this particular human custom to her." John shook his head at the thought. She would be mortified to know that many humans conducted themselves quite poorly a day or so before their wedding, going to bars and getting drunk or going to strip clubs and getting drunk. Many a wedding day had been ruined based on such last minute outings. Or perhaps, many a horrible union spared, depending on how one looked at it.

By the end of the evening, he'd received many "gifts" from his friends. Londo had given him a ball and chain. Literally, a twenty-pound ball and chain and the mocking laughter that preceded it was worse than the one that followed. "Better you than me, my dear Mr. President," Londo had said.

Franklin had given him a pack of little blue pills, smiled at Sheridan's shocked expression, and said, "Just in case, John. You're not as young as you used to be and the last thing you want to do is disappoint your new wife, especially since you have that slanted bed going against you. I don't know how in the hell you manage it," Franklin had said, giving Sheridan a 'too bad for you,' look.

G'Kar had handed Sheridan a book and winked at him with his one blue eye. Sheridan didn't like the idea of G'Kar winking at him and liked it even less when he finally opened the book. To his surprise, it was the Narn's version of the Kama Sutra. And making matters worse, it was G'Kar's personal copy with scribbles and notes to boot in the margin. One glance at the notes and Sheridan thought he _would_ need a few of those little blue pills if he had even the slightest chance of performing even one of those Narn sex techniques.

Zack also gave Sheridan a book, but it was a simple leather bound photo album. He opened it to the first page and saw two pictures of Delenn. The first was taken when she arrived on Babylon 5, her full Minbari self. The second was taken the day he was sworn in as President of the Interstellar Alliance. The two of them stood side by side, holding hands and smiling. They'd come so far, he thought then and found himself grinning like a love struck fool at the mere thought of his lovely bride. And the fact that after so many years, he wouldn't be alone ever again.

"I know most people don't keep photo albums anymore, Mr. President, but I . . . well, I think they're a lot better than a data crystal any day. Besides," he said, shrugging his shoulders, "women still seem to like them."

"I know Delenn will love it and take much pride and care in selecting just the right family photos to put in it," Sheridan said thankful for at least one _normal_ gift. Apparently, none of the other men appreciated the sensitive gift, for Zack was pelted with cheese balls and boos.

"Come on guys," he said, raising his hands and arms in defense, "cut it out, that's not funny. I hate cheese and you're ruining my uniform."

"Who in the hell wears a uniform to a party anyway?" someone asked before more cheese balls and other food items were launched his way.

Finally, it was Michael's turn and Sheridan set his left eyebrow to a high arch, waiting for the inevitable. Yet another book, he noted when he opened the flat box, or rather a magazine to . . . Adam and Eve Lingerie?

"Before you arch that other eyebrow of yours," Michael had said, "just take it with you and give it a try. It has all types of toys, games, and sexy clothing perfect for a man who haven't had sex in—''

Sheridan punched him in the arm, making him swallow the rest of his sentence. But he had taken it with him. In fact, he'd taken all of the gifts back to his quarters, well, not the ball and chain. He dropped those in the nearest incinerator. But everything else was placed discreetly in a bag and tucked under his arm, as he made his way back to his quarters, hoping Delenn hadn't turned in for the evening. Well, if she had, he thought with a wicked smile, he would just have to wake her and show her he didn't need no stickin blue pills to please her.

Now, a week later, Sheridan found himself thoroughly viewing each page of the very magazine that had plagued his waking mind for far too long. He tried not to think about the contents, convincing himself he was too old to care about such things. But his curiosity had gotten the better of him, or perhaps there was simply no age limit on sexual adventures.

'Once you slip on this revealing fishnet teddy, the ride won't stop until you're ready to climb off! The top goes on just like a bra, complete with adjustable shoulder straps and adjustable hook and eye closure. The T front gives you a slimming look, while leaving your back bare – perfect for a sexy massage to help set the mood.

The bottom hugs your rear to accent your behind, while the crotch is lined for additional comfort. It also includes attached garter belts for your fishnet stockings, sold separately. The fishnet is soft against your skin and slightly stretchy to closely hug your body. The large, rugged fishnet resists tearing, making it far more durable than your average piece of fishnet lingerie. The Up All Night Fishnet Teddy is part of the Seven 'til Midnight label. It's available in black only. The fishnet teddy is made from 100% silk and is imported.'

"Damn," John said, licking his lips at the thought of Delenn in that fishnet teddy with stockings caressing her lean, soft legs. Without thinking beyond the sudden throb in his groin, John Sheridan placed the order. It would arrive in two weeks time. Now, the only thing he had to do was convince his Religious Caste wife to cast aside her formal robes and wear a garment that would barely cover her unmentionables. No, Sheridan definitely didn't think this through at all.

**THE FLUFF WILL BE CONTINUED**


	2. Chapter 2: Men Are From Mars

**Chapter 2: Men Are From Mars**

John Sheridan sat in his quarters on his bed holding a medium size white box wrapped in a pink and white polka dot ribbon. The package arrived from Adam and Eve Lingerie a week ago and still it remained unopened, unclaimed, unworn. Sheridan had no idea why he'd even bothered buying the damn outfit if the only thing he planned to do with it was hide it in his closet and pull it out whenever his wife wasn't around.

"The hell with it," he said, rising to his feet. Sheridan placed the box on an upper ledge of his closet, a place that was too high up and far back for Delenn to see or reach. He needed a change of scenery. Delenn was in a meeting with some ambassador, John having not paid enough attention when they spoke earlier to know with whom or for how long, too busy visualizing her in the gift he'd been too afraid to give to her.

He cursed his cowardice as he walked to the only place that both reminded him of Delenn and gave him peace of mind—the hydroponic gardens. Sheridan sat on one of the benches, looking mindlessly at the roses.

_What in the hell is wrong with you, John? You've fought in the Earth/Minbari War, freed Earth and Mars from Clarke's brutal regime, survived torture at the hands of a crazy man, and came back from death itself. How in the hell is it then that you can't muster the balls to ask a tiny woman to wear a simple outfit? _

"Simple outfit? Yeah, right," John snorted aloud.

"What simple outfit?"

Sheridan turned to see Garibaldi walking slowly towards him, hands in his pocket, looking too cool for his own good. Sheridan shifted to his right, giving his old friend room to sit beside him.

"So, what is this you're mumbling about a 'simple outfit?'" Garibaldi asked.

Sheridan weighed his options. Ordinarily, he wouldn't even consider talking to Michael about his personal life, especially about Delenn. But his options were low and frustration high. He sighed and ran a hand over his face.

"So, what's got you all in knots, John?" Michael asked, and then looked around. "And where is Delenn? You two are normally joined at the hip."

"It's all your fault, Michael," Sheridan snapped, turning to face his friend. "You and that damn book you gave me."

"Umm, you don't like the mag? How in the hell can any red blooded Human male not like Adam and Eve?" He laughed and rubbed his baldhead. "Man, I could tell you stories, John, which would set that goatee of yours on fire. I mean—''

"I don't care about your damn stories, Michael. That gift has been the bane of my existence for the last three weeks."

"Okay, John, just slow down," he said, shaking his head. "Did Delenn find the mag and go Entil'zha on your ass with a dennbok."

Sheridan gritted his teeth in absolute frustration then started to rise. Garibaldi placed a firm hand on Sheridan's shoulder. "Okay, okay, John, I'm sorry. Don't leave. I'll shut my big mouth and let you talk."

Sheridan hesitated for a moment then retook his seat. He didn't know why he even bothered with Michael sometimes, the man could be a pain in the ass on his best day. But still, who in the hell else was he going to talk to? Londo? G'Kar? Hell no. Stephen? He would be a much better choice, then again, Sheridan reasoned, he would probably have to first listen to some long winded psycho babble that would end with a list of dietary restrictions. Yeah, Dr. Franklin was out, meaning, Sheridan was left with only the annoyingly bald man before him.

"I ordered something from that damn magazine of yours," he finally admitted.

"Good, what ya get?"

"None of your damn business, Michael. I can't believe you would even ask me that."

"What, it's not like I'm going to start picturing Delenn in it the next time we're in a meeting together," Michael said before his eyes glossed over with a faraway look.

"Michael, I swear I'm going to—''

Garibaldi laughed. "I'm just joking, John. You know me better than that. Now, what did Delenn say when you gave her the gift? I take that it didn't go over well or you wouldn't be out here alone with your manhood between your legs."

Sheridan ignored the jab and forged ahead. "She hasn't seen it yet."

"Why not? Were you not happy with the product they sent you?"

"I have no idea. I haven't even opened the box, Michael. I keep it hidden in the closet and every day I pull it out to look at it like a kid with a bag full of candies, but too afraid to eat just one. I feel like a total—''

"Loser," Michael finished, barely avoiding a punch to the shoulder from the president of the Interstellar Alliance. "You have no sense of humor at all, John, and you can't even blame it on being married to a Minbari, for you never had one. Hell, I have a sneaky suspicion Delenn has more of a sense of humor than you."

"Forget it, Michael, just forget it," John said standing. "You know what, you can be a real jerk sometimes. I came to the gardens to think not to be made fun of by a guy who carries a comb in his pants pocket as a souvenir of what was but never will be again. Your name surely fits you, Garbi_baldi_," Sheridan said, emphasizing the last part of his name.

Now it was Michael's turn to ignore the jab. "Tell Delenn you'll wear something special for her as well."

"What?" John said, stopping and turning.

Garibaldi stood and walked the short distance to Sheridan. "There are a couple of pages devoted to men's wear. All pretty crappy things that neither one of us would be caught dead wearing. There are, however, a few decent, boring, boxers. And since Delenn is the most egalitarian person I know, I bet she'd appreciate the offer. Think of it as quid pro quo. Tell her she can order whatever she likes from the mag and you'll wear it for her."

"I've seen some of those things that pass as men's underwear, Michael, and I'll not have my bare ass on display with a string between my cheeks. Hell no, no teddy is worth me having my boys held hostage by a small piece of lace or silk, or whatever in the hell those G-strings are made of."

"Do you honestly think Delenn of Mir of the Religious Caste would pick such a crass garment?"

Sheridan thought about it for a minute and had to concede Garibaldi's point."I suppose she wouldn't."

"Of course she wouldn't. Delenn has much too much class to order you a thong or anything that would dishonor you."

Sheridan nodded in agreement. "So, you think it'll work?"

"There's only one way to find out. Give her your gift and wait for her reaction. Offer the deal only as a last resort, if you see your ship sinking use it as a life preserver."

"That may actually work. Delenn wouldn't possibly take me up on such an offer once she looks at the magazine. And if she does, she'll pick one of the boxers with tacky faces or crude sayings she doesn't even know." Sheridan finally smiled. "You're actually good for something," he said then strolled briskly away, not waiting for the smartass reply that was sure to come.

John Sheridan had a plan now. It wasn't the greatest idea in the universe but it was a start. Sheridan walked with eagerness back to his quarters, bound and determined to give Delenn her present . . . his present, and make a deal if necessary. And God, he hoped he wouldn't have to go down that path. But it was Delenn, what could she possibly pick out that would be so bad?

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	3. Chapter 3: Never Simple

**Chapter 3: Never Simple**

John Sheridan turned on his left side and reached across the expanse of bed. Cold. Empty. Delenn still hadn't returned from her meeting. No that wasn't true, Sheridan quickly amended, his sleep filled mind having not initially heard the telltale signs of her presence. Water was running in the bathroom. _She's taking a shower._

Sheridan rolled back over and wiped sleep from his eyes. He hadn't meant to fall asleep. Once returning from the garden, he'd found a message left for him from Delenn saying she wouldn't be back until late and to have dinner without her. He remembered thinking she looked tired and annoyed and probably wouldn't be in the best frame of mind to be groped by her very horny husband with a request that was well . . .

Sheridan's intention was to read a few reports while waiting for Delenn. He'd already worked out in his mind how he would broach the teddy issue with her. He'd taken the long route back to his quarters, mumbling to himself the whole way, getting the oddest looks from those he passed in the corridor. He didn't care though, he had a plan and that plan had gone straight to hell when he arrived to a dark, empty, wifeless quarters.

But she was home now and Sheridan jumped out of bed. He quickly removed his wrinkled clothes and replaced them with a Minbari robe Delenn had given him as a wedding gift. He rarely wore the thing, reminding him too much of a dress. But it would make the perfect statement for his plan.

Sheridan dashed into the kitchen area, washed his face, and found a breath spray in a pocket of a jacket hanging on the back of a chair. Three hits of the peppermint flavored spray and one rake of a hand through his tousled hair and Sheridan was ready to go.

He heard the spray of water slow, sputter, and then stop. _She's finished, good._

He made his way back to the bedroom, retrieved the box from the closet, and hid it under his pillow for safekeeping. Sheridan smiled when Delenn exited the bathroom. Her hair was freshly washed, as was the form snuggly wrapped in a white, cotton towel. Unlike him, who managed to drip water all over the place after a shower, Delenn had nary a drop of the stuff on her or the floor. How in the hell she managed that, Sheridan could never figure out.

But she smelled good, damn good, from John's point of view, eyeing her as he was from their marriage bed. And she looked even better, her moist arms and legs glistening, her hair laying sleek and dark against her scalp, and her crest ever so pronounced and glorious. Sheridan never imagined a Minbari bonecrest as sexy, but now he did. Or perhaps it wasn't the bonecrest itself he found so alluring but the woman who wore it, for Sheridan found everything about his new wife sexy.

Finally, Delenn turned around to see her husband staring at her. She gave him one of her award winning smiles before walking to her dresser.

"You were asleep when I came in. I hope I didn't wake you," she said, opening the second drawer in search of a nightgown. After deciding against a couple of items, Delenn finally settled on a dark blue silk gown that hung to her calves. She stripped the damp towel from her body, replacing it with the soft gown, oblivious to the effect she was having on her husband, whose eyes hadn't left her form since she exited the steamy bathroom. And now it was John who was steaming, and not in a bad way.

"No, no, honey, you didn't wake me," he finally managed. "In fact, I should've been awake when you arrived. I didn't mean to fall asleep."

Delenn crossed the bedroom to stand in front of her husband and reached for him, placing her hand on his forehead and then his cheek— checking. "Are you all right, John? Are you sick? Have you been to see Stephen lately?"

"No, Delenn, I'm not sick and I haven't been to see Stephen. What would make you ask that?"

Confused, Delenn returned to the bathroom and a few seconds later she handed John a bottle of pills. "I found these blue pills in the medicine cabinet. I've never seen them before, so naturally I assumed they were yours."

Sheridan visually gulped and took the bottle from Delenn. "Ah . . . well . . . umm . . . they are mine, honey, and Stephen did give them to me, but I'm not sick." John could see the confusion in Delenn's eyes and the next question on her lips.

"If you're not sick, John, then why would Stephen prescribe you medication? Are these some sort of vitamins? I've known you to take vitamin C and D, but this one," she said, pointing to the bottle, "is new to me. What kind of vitamin is it, John?"

The urge to lie and spare himself the embarrassment of explaining Viagra to his Minbari wife was damn near overpowering. "It's a gag gift, honey. Michael and the guys gave me a bachelor party a few weeks ago and the bottle of pills was a gift from Stephen. It was meant as a joke, Delenn, that's all."

John Sheridan knew he'd just opened a cultural can of worms with that last statement. Why couldn't he just have lied to her, making this conversation easier on the both of them, particularly him? He knew why, of course.

Warding off her next question, Sheridan patted the bed beside him and Delenn sat. "A bachelor party, Delenn, is a Human tradition in which a party is held for a bachelor shortly before he enters marriage, to make the most of his final opportunity to engage in activities a new partner might not approve of, or merely to spend time with his male friends. Since Stephen and Michael couldn't attend our wedding, they decided to give me a post marriage bachelor party. Trust me," he said, "I think the party was more for them than me. They certainly had a better time than I did, or at least they had plenty of fun at my expense."

Sheridan stared at his wife who was staring intently at him. _Shit, I don't think she understood a thing I just said and I haven't even explained about the pills yet. _

"What kind of things would I not approve of, John?" she asked in her normally calm voice, but Sheridan was no fool. She'd understood plenty, or as much as any woman, Minbari or otherwise would.

"Nothing bad, Delenn, I assure you. It was tame. To Londo's great disappointment, it was a dry . . . alcohol free party," he added for her clarification, "and Michael was sensible enough not to hire strippers from Down Below."

"Strippers?"

Hell, perhaps she _didn't_ understand. _Me and my big, fat mouth._

Sheridan sighed, rubbed his hands over his eyes, and prayed a White Star would crash through the ceiling and put him out of his misery. "Strippers are women _or men_ who remove their clothing while dancing at a club or a private party."

"So, you're telling me, John, that it's a Human tradition for a groom prior to his wedding to go to a _club_ or have a private party at the home of one of his best friends where everyone drinks alcohol and watch men and women take off their clothing for the pleasure of the guests in attendance?"

Aw, Delenn understood quite well and the only response Sheridan could think to give was, "Well, not male strippers at a bachelor party, honey and," he said as an afterthought, "women have their own bachelorette parties with male strippers as well."

Delenn's frown deepened and Sheridan looked up, waiting for that White Star to descend from the heavens.

"So, Human women also participate in such a . . . a . . .''

Sheridan knew she was searching for a word that wouldn't be so insulting to his people but there really were none.

"vulgar act," he suggested and Delenn nodded. "I guess it would appear that way to a non-Human. Hell, many Human women find it vulgar," he admitted.

"John," Delenn said standing, her forehead furrowed and thick with a twinge of exasperation, "I think I'll make myself a cup of tea. Sometimes I wonder how we'll manage in this marriage of ours. The more I learn about Humans, the more I feel I'll never know them at all," she mumbled to herself, leaving John sitting on the bed.

She walked into the kitchen and prepared them both a steaming cup of ginger tea with lemon and honey. Sheridan joined her and they both sat at the small table, sipping their hot drink, neither one quite ready to finish their conversation.

After several excruciating minutes for Sheridan, he finally blurted, "The pills help a man get and sustain an erection."

The normally composed Minbari choked on her tea, nearly spitting it across the table and into the reddened face of her husband.

"Stephen meant it as a joke . . . I think. As you know, I have _no_ problem in that area. In fact," he said, jumping to his feet, looking like a man whose honor was just insulted, "I can prove it to you now, Delenn."

The woman could do nothing but stare, mouth agape, and tea forgotten. She looked at his outstretched hand and back at his flushed face. He was dead serious.

Delenn stood gracefully and calmly walked to the Babcom unit. "Shall I call for Stephen, John, or do you want to do it."

"Delenn," he huffed, "I told you I'm not sick, I just need to—'' He broke off and grabbed her hand instead, nearly dragging her into their bedroom.

At his urging, she sat. He reached under his pillow and pulled out the infamous white box. "This is what I've been trying to give you for the last week and it's been driving me crazy. Just open the thing and put me out of my misery, Delenn."

That wasn't at all how he'd planned to give her the gift. All the romantic words, slow buildup, and sexy music were gone in a flurry of impatient, male frustration. And now what? He'd virtually shoved the gift in her hands.

_Way to go, moron._

**TO BE CONTINUED**

**Author's Note: **

Okay, okay, don't throttle me. I know this was supposed to be the last chapter, but all this other stuff came to my mind. Therefore, in keeping with the short chapter theme of this particular story, I held off on the conclusion. I promise I'll finish it very soon.


	4. Chapter 4: Women Are From Venus

**Chapter 4: Women Are From Venus**

**Part 1**

"You know, John," Delenn said, playing idly with the ribbon on the box, resting forgotten in her lap, "I used to think all Human males were strange, now however, I believe that perhaps it's just you." She shook her head. "How will we ever manage this marriage of ours over the next twenty years?"

John couldn't turn away from her serious and grave expression. Did she think they were too different, their cultures too disparate to be reconciled? Was she now having second thoughts? John's stomach dropped at the thought, as did his head, and then he heard a low rumble of a sound.

He jerked his head up and, indeed, his wife was laughing at him. And not one of those cutesy girlie laughs so many women have perfected, but a sincere, belly laugh he hadn't heard since Rebo and Zootie visited Babylon 5.

"Oh, Delenn, that's not fair. I thought you were serious. How could you put me through that?"

"John," Delenn said, wiping laugh tears from her eyes, "you just dragged me in here after explaining to me about a bachelor party in which it's common for naked women to perform before a group of drunk men, for no other reason than to prove to me that you can get an erection without the aid of a blue pill. I was unaware that men couldn't _not_ get in that state if they so desired."

And there was no humor at all in her voice, John noted, with this last sentence. She was serious. Damn she was serious. Minbari men were not only stronger and lived longer than Human males, but apparently, they didn't suffer from erectile dysfunction. Sheridan wanted to take a PPG to his head. Life was definitely not fair.

She was giving him that quizzical look again, but John refused to be baited. If she wanted to learn about Human impotence, she would just have to learn the old-fashioned way. Not that John expected not to be able to perform his husbandly duties, but let's admit it, those league meetings could drain even the strongest of men.

Taking a deep breath and deciding to salvage his plan, John said, "Remember when you gave me this robe, Delenn."

"Yes, John, you said it looked like a dress and while you appreciated the sentiment, soldiers didn't wear dresses."

John winced, having forgotten that part. Plan B it was then.

"True, honey, but I'm wearing it now, and it's not so bad. In fact, I think it looks rather nice on me."

"It looks as nice as I thought it would, John, but . . ." John didn't like the way she said the word _but._

"Why have you decided to wear it now? It's been hanging in that closet of yours for months. Actually, I'd forgotten about it."

Shrewd woman.

"I thought I would wear something you wanted to see me in and you could wear something I wanted to see you in."

"Ah," Delenn said and then peered down at the box with a knowing expression. "I assume there is something in this box you wish for me to put on."

"Yes."

"Tonight?"

"That would be nice." John was hopeful as he watched Delenn untie the ribbon and open the box.

She removed the pink tissue paper and her mouth opened to say something then shut. It opened a second time but no words came out, just a very soft gasp of . . . Disbelief? Shock? Embarrassment?

Sheridan fumbled to find the right words to fill the uncomfortable silence. "Michael gave me a magazine and I didn't really want it but then I thought 'why not?' I know it's different from your Minbari robes the same way the robe you gave me is different from the type of clothing Human males tend to wear but—''

"These are supposed to be worn?" she interrupted, lifting the skimpy panties and fishnet stockings between her thumb and index finger, looking at them with unhidden disdain. "How?"

She pulled out the remaining garments, her mouth open, brow wrinkled in deep lines, and a small, thin line where her lips should be. "Did you actually pay for these items, John, there's nothing here but a box full of unfinished pieces of silk fabric? A Worker Caste seamstress would be shunned for turning out such a garment. Her clan would disown her and send her to the nearest Temple for prayer and guidance."

Was that a joke or a genuine question and statement? Sheridan honestly didn't know. Delenn looked at him fully then. "I know I have a lot to learn about being married to a Human but I don't think I can . . ." The words stuck in her throat as she looked at the black fishnet teddy and matching stockings. There were garters and other items she didn't even have names for.

"Well, I was thinking . . . well . . . hoping we could do something different."

"Different?" she repeated. "John, we've only been married a few months, I believe everything we do in this marriage would be considered _different_.

Yeah, this wasn't going well at all. Why did women have to be so logical and intelligent? And John Sheridan had actually married three logical and intelligent women, one from each caste. When he finally realized that, talk about having a _duh_ moment.

"True, honey, but married couples often . . ." He trailed off, thinking he should've waited until they'd been married two or three years. Delenn was right; they were just getting to know each other in the physical sense. It wasn't like they were an old married couple who needed to play dress up to get things going in the bedroom. In fact, they were still considered newlyweds and needed no external stimuli to get them in the mood. But still—

"Are you not pleased?" she asked with a soft, genuine concern that made John want to smack himself for making her feel inadequate.

"No, honey," he quickly responded, moving the items out of his way. "Of course I'm pleased with you. I love the nightgown you have on and the others you wear. Hell, I love you in nothing at all."

This seemed to reassure her but in case it didn't, John kissed her to solidify his point. Taking her in his arms, John pressed their mouths and bodies together, twining his tongue around hers and sucking deeply. Her mouth parted fully to his exploration, each breath heightened as his warm, wet lips slanted and moved sensually over hers, tasting of ginger, lemon, and honey from their tea.

John sucked, bit, and licked, trailing kisses down her neck, sliding one shoulder strap down, and delving into the sweetness between her breasts. They fell back on the bed, rolling on top of the discarded items from Adam and Eve Lingerie.

"I don't need them, Delenn, I just thought you would look damn sexy in them. You are so beautiful. I don't even think you know how gorgeous you are. You turn me on when you're covered from neck to ankle. I just wanted to see you in something different, that's all. Not a big deal, honey, I assure you."

Sheridan removed the other strap, revealing Delenn's upper body to him. She was indeed beautiful, like a flawless pearl he'd plucked from the sea and claimed as his own.

"John," Delenn said, sliding her right hand to his chest and unclasping his robe. "I do like you in this, very much in fact." She pulled his head down to hers with her other hand and kissed him, lifting and opening her legs, allowing him to settle firmly between them. "I wouldn't feel comfortable wearing your gift. I don't even think I would know how to put them on. I can't imagine anything less appealing or dignified than putting unfamiliar clothes on the wrong body parts or inside out."

John chuckled low in his chest, the vibration going through him and into Delenn. "I could put them on for you," he said, taking a breast in his mouth and suckling. "And then I could show you how to get out of them." This time he took the other breast in his mouth, twirled his tongue around the pert nipple, making Delenn gasp and reach for his robe again.

In spite of John's torturous attentions and refusal to let her go, Delenn managed to rid him of the pesky garment. "This is too much to take off when we're like this, isn't it, Delenn," he asked, moving just enough so she could toss the robe on the floor, leaving his hard body naked and ready.

"Yes," she moaned, closing her eyes and raising her hips, allowing John to remove her nightgown. "_Oh, yes_," she said again, taking him into her body, no longer thinking about Minbari formality or culture clashes.

"You can order something for me, if you like, honey. I promise I'll wear it this time without complaint. Anything you want, just consider the teddy, with or without the stockings and garters."

"I'll consider it, John, if you'll just stop talking and move your hips like that again. Delenn flung her head back against the pillow, her mouth in an _O_, John fulfilling her request, making them both cry out in pleasure. "_Yes, John, just like that_. I'll consider your request, but not now. Tomorrow, yes tomorrow when I can think and breathe again."

**Part 2**

"No, Delenn, absolutely not."

"You said you would wear whatever I ordered without complaint."

"I did, but I didn't think . . ." Sheridan looked inside the small white box again, and not for the first time this evening, he'd considered strangling his Head of Security, Michael Garibaldi, preferably with one of Delenn's fishnet stockings around the neck that held up his big mouth.

_Do you honestly think Delenn of Mir of the Religious Caste would pick such a crass garment?_

"Michael," he hissed. "This is all his fault, I could strangle him."

"It's fine, John, you don't have to wear the gift. I release you from your promise," Delenn said, taking the box from her husband's hands. I'll just stick it in the closet on the ledge where my gift used to be."

Sheridan watched as his wife removed a stool from the back of her closet, placed it in front of his own, and climbed it. "Hand me the box please, so I can put it away."

Sheridan gave his wife a considering look. "How did you know where I kept your present?"

"You must have told me."

"I didn't."

"Then I must have seen you take it down when you gave it to me."

"You didn't," he said. "I took it down while you were still in the bathroom." He watched as her eyes dropped to the floor and she descended the steps. "I thought Minbari didn't lie, Delenn, and I'm pretty sure you just broke that cardinal rule."

"I was looking for a box I brought to your quarters when I moved some of my things in here. I thought you stored it in your closet so I went hunting for it one day."

"And you came across the package."

"Yes."

"And you couldn't help but open it."

She sighed. "Yes."

"And your Minbari honor wouldn't allow you to admit the truth because it would ruin the surprise I'd planned."

"Yes, John. I forgot that pretty bows and boxes were clues to a gift in Human society. It looked like any other box to me. I didn't mean to spoil the surprise."

Sheridan considered this for a moment and knew it to be the truth, but he'd figured out another truth while she spoke.

He went to his nightstand drawer and pulled out the magazine. He turned to the men's section, looked inside the gift box from Delenn, and turned to page twenty-two and read.

" 'Adonis Boxers, put your goods on display!

If you've got it, why hide it? Showcase your stuff in these hot-looking Adonis Boxers. This is the underwear that has no secrets – the unique design features a see-through mesh panel right where it counts the most, to draw her undivided attention straight to your ramrod-hard manhood.

Imagine her delight as you slowly strip down to these sexy black boxers. Watch her eyes as the shiny wet-look fabric catches her gaze. Wiggle your well-defined butt, then turn around and give her a great peek at your package through the front panel mesh window. She'll love the sight and you'll love her reaction!

But the Adonis Boxers are more than just sexy. They're made of cool, comfortable spandex and polyester that feels great against your skin. Wear them any time: under your clothes for a smooth unrestricted feel, or at home for comfy relaxation. The stretch waist and legs guarantee a perfect fit and feel all day.

Why should the ladies get all the hot underwear? Wear the Adonis Boxers tonight and give your girl a show to remember. The Adonis Boxers come in black only and are imported.'''

Sheridan squinted his eyes at Delenn whose mouth couldn't help quirking in a small smile.

"You ordered this on purpose and others." He flipped to the next page.

" 'Naughty People Boxer Briefs. Slip on a fun and sexy change from your regular 'jammies – these comfortable cotton/poly boxer briefs are a delightful departure from traditional sleepwear. When your lover gets close, they'll see the cute cartoons of naughty naked folks – like the Frankenboner, Strap-on Sue, and the Dirty Sock Monkey! They'll have you both laughing, grinning, and getting into the groove in no time! Imported.'"

He scanned the page one more time and finished with, "'Cyclops Malewear, Show Your Stuff!

This sexy jock gets everything out in the open! Exotic black leather-look fabric surrounds your stuff with nickel-plated O-ring and studs, while the jock back frames your hot buns. 4-way black nylon/spandex. Imported."'

Delenn laughed outright now and flopped on the bed. Sheridan felt totally and thoroughly foxed. She'd turned Michael and his plan on its ear, buying him something so outrageous she knew he would refuse to wear it; thereby, nicely absolving herself from wearing his gift, maintaining her honor and word in the process. Well, she wasn't going to get away with it.

"Where's your gift?"

"What?" Delenn asked, quickly getting to her feet.

"You know, the fishnet teddy with matching stockings. Go get it and put it on for me."

"But . . . but," she stammered, "I just thought you refused to wear my gift. Meaning—''

"Meaning, we'll both look silly together. We made a bargain, remember?"

Now it was John's turn to laugh, for the look on his stunned wife's face was priceless. And since sulking wasn't Delenn's style, she went to her dresser, removed the items, and proceeded to the bathroom.

Sheridan was quite pleased with his maneuvering, that is, until he glanced back into his own gift box. "Aw hell, they probably won't even fit or hold me right." He bemoaned his fate the entire time it took him to undress, claiming the tight, garish boxers were some male hating woman's idea of a torture device aimed at getting back at men for the invention of corsets, bras, and stilettos.

Sheridan was still quietly cursing when he heard the bathroom door creak open. He turned and instantly forgot about the see-through mesh of his boxers. But Delenn hadn't, for her eyes suddenly fell to that region and her face flushed hot and red. Perhaps there was something to be said for silly looking Human clothing after all.

"My God, Delenn," was all he managed to say before they collided into each other like the Titanic hitting the iceberg—powerful, hard, and unexpected. And there was crying, screaming, drowning, and finally a total immersion into the cool, comforting abyss of twined bodies and souls, where Human sexuality crashed into Minbari formality and from it merged a new story, the next chapter.

Searching for her next breath, Delenn said, "You definitely don't need those little blue pills _or_," she smiled at John naughtily, "that book from G'Kar."

John's jaw dropped. He'd been played. He'd been so focused on winning the battle, he'd foolishly forgotten with whom he was dealing-a master Minbari strategist. He'd lost the war even before Delenn opened the white box with the pink polka dot bow. "You sneaky little . . ."

**Author's Note:**

Thanks for sticking with me. I apologize if the characters were a bit 'out of character,' but I had too much fun writing this fluff to be as precise as I normally try to be. It was just a silly, fun story, a departure from my normal fics, and I hope you enjoyed my temporary state of lunacy.


End file.
